A New Journey: A Changed Heart
By J’nan Tierney
(Third in a series)
“I run in the path of Your commands, for you have set my heart free.” – Psalm 119:32
In one of my favorite Scripture verses, God promises, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26). This verse is particularly poignant for me, because there is no doubt in my mind that God has kept this promise to me. Just as certain as I am of this, I am equally certain that God will keep this promise to all who invite Christ into their lives.
I am going to get very real with you here. I spent too much time allowing Satan to tell me who I am. I was building up walls—keeping everyone out and all the painful emotions in. I had been through many difficult circumstances, and I responded by perpetuating the negativity. I often felt profoundly unhappy and sometimes even worthless. There were days where I felt so depressed that I could only muster up enough energy to do the bare minimum. Don’t get me wrong, I did have many (fleeting) happy moments and was intent upon being a good wife and mother. I had tried so many ways to be better. But had I reached my full potential? The answer to that is a resounding no. Satan was pulling a long con on me, and I was letting him win. I was approaching a breaking point when divine intervention came into play, urging me to attend church.
The first time I entered the worship center at LowCountry Community Church, I was so deeply moved by God’s presence that I began to weep. This experience was so profound that not only did I continue to attend church, but I soon found myself deeply entrenched in seeking God. After several weeks, I arrived at the conclusion that God was real and working in my life. I humbly submitted my will to Him, accepted Christ as Lord and Savior, and repented. All at once the walls began to crumble as 30+ plus years of anger, fear, resentment, pride and self-pity streamed down my face. I began to really feel things again, perhaps maybe even for the first time in my life. It was painful and exhausting, yet liberating. I felt love in its truest form: God’s love. And now, I can fully accept love from others.
In light of this transformation, I make it a daily effort to put God first in my life (where He belongs!) and abide in His will. I know that He alone created us, He alone sustains us, and He alone establishes our identity and purpose. Have life’s circumstances changed? Yes and no. There have been numerous positive changes in my circumstances, which I am exceedingly grateful for. However, there will always be challenges, without such growth cannot occur. The most important change has been my attitude. I have hope, love and joy, despite my circumstances.
J’nan Tierney lives in Bluffton with her husband, William, and her two children, Ellie (6) and Liam (3). She works part-time as a caregiver for seniors in our community. She enjoys hiking, disc golf, photography and taking on creative endeavors.
Did you miss the last blog post in this series?