Take the Risk
By Jeff Cranston
Friendships can take us to the highest of heights and drag us to the lowest of lows. And regarding the latter, if you get kicked to the curb one time too many, you may tend to withdraw. But when you have a few good friends, you often feel that life can’t get any better than that! If you have a great, lifelong friend, consider yourself blessed. If you have more than one, you are numbered among the most fortunate of people.
Entering into friendships and relationships is scary. You may be afraid of letting someone into your life because you may get hurt. And we don’t like being hurt. But that’s the reality of relationships. They can be real dilemmas.
In his book, “The Four Loves,” C.S. Lewis wrote:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”[1]
Lewis leaves us with two options: (1) Protect your heart from vulnerability so much that it hardens, or (2) open your heart to love and run the risk of being hurt. Here’s the interesting thing: Your choice of option one or option two will determine how you live your life.
In 2 Timothy 4:9-22, the apostle Paul pens his last words. He is imprisoned in Rome, and the end of his time on earth is near. He sounds a bit sad, and he may have been lonely, too. He ends his letter to Timothy talking about people. Here is what I see in this passage, and I think this is what Paul is modeling: Choose people; choose risk; choose being hurt. Choose to let people into your life. Choose community even when it’s scary. Let people see the real you. Be willing to see and accept the real them. You will get hurt; it will happen. But when all is said and done, it will be worth it. Maybe we can say it like this: Some friends are for a reason. Some friends are for a season. Some friends are for a lifetime. Jesus is for eternity.
Some people may turn on you.
Paul is someone whom God used in this world like no other. He was the catalyst to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ throughout Europe and the Mediterranean. Many of these folks he mentions by name heard the gospel through him and because of him. Without him, they would be bound for a Christless eternity. And what do they do?
Demas —“having loved this present world… ”—deserted Paul and went to Thessalonica.
Alexander—who did Paul “… much harm…”—told Timothy to “be on guard against him yourself … ” Some believe that Alexander was the one who turned Paul into the Roman authorities.
“all deserted me … ” This is likely a reference to Paul’s first trial before the Roman magistrate. At his first defense, no one stood up for him.
Maybe you’ve had friends like this. You thought they were with you, but they turned on you, and you’ve never understood why. Paul went through the same thing. Two of his friends had left him for the worst of reasons, not to mention all those who didn’t stand by him when he needed it the most. Paul poured his life into people, but he still found himself alone with only one person (“ … only Luke is with me … ”), abandoned by many he’d loved.
People will disappoint you. Sometimes it’s the people you would have never expected—those you thought you could count on. In life, it’s possible that the deepest source of the pain you will experience will be relational pain. People can be the source of your greatest joys and the source of your greatest anguish. But while some people may turn on you …
Some people will be faithful to you even when they are not present in your life.
We discover that some of Paul’s friends were not with him, but all for good reasons. Some of his friends were gone for legitimate reasons. Paul mentions three of them:
Crescens: “ …Crescens has gone to Galatia … ” Outside of this reference, we know nothing else about Crescens. But he was one of Paul’s trusted lieutenants.
Titus: “ … Titus to Dalmatia … ” Elsewhere Paul refers to him as, “ … my own son.” Paul sent Titus to Corinth to help straighten out troubles in the church there.
Tychicus: Paul sent “… Tychicus to Ephesus.” He was probably sent there to replace Timothy, who was leaving to be with Paul in Rome.
Carpus: “ … bring the cloak which I left at Troas with Carpus … ” Paul must have departed in a hurry from Troas (was he being hunted for his arrest?) because he left his cloak and books behind. Carpus, however, was a faithful brother in the Lord, and he would watch over them until someone came to take them to Paul. Even such so-called menial tasks are ministries for the Lord.
Some people will be faithful to you and stay present in your life.
Luke: “ … only Luke is with me … ” Yes, THAT Luke. The apostle. The author of the Gospel account of Jesus’ life and the book we know as The Acts of the Apostles.
Mark: “ … Pick up Mark and bring him with you for he is useful to me for service.” Mark is a very interesting character. He was around in the earliest days of the birth of the Church of Jesus in Jerusalem. When Peter escaped from prison, with angelic help, Acts 12:12 says, “ … he went to the house of Mary, the mother of John, also called Mark, where many were gathered together and were praying.”
Timothy: “ … Make every effort to come soon … ” “… when you come … ” We’ve already learned a great deal about Timothy and understand why Paul was sending for him now in his last chapter of life. Then Paul mentions …
Prisca (or Priscilla), Aquila: the husband/wife team we meet in Acts, Romans, and 1 Corinthians. Now they are in Ephesus helping Timothy in the ministry.
Onesiphorus and his household: We met him in 2 Timothy 1.
Erastus: He may have been the treasurer in the Corinthian church and possibly the same man who ministered alongside Timothy in Macedonia.
Trophimus: He was from Ephesus and a friend of Tychicus, and the man whose presence with Paul helped to incite a riot in Jerusalem that we read about in Acts 21. He had been serving in Miletus but was now ill.
Eubulus, Pudens, Linus, Claudia, “ … and all the brethren … ” People whose names are known only to the Lord—and that’s alright. As long as He knows you, that’s enough.
Some friends are for a reason. Some friends are for a season. Some friends are for a lifetime. Jesus is for eternity.
What gave Paul the ability to rise above the hurt and the pain? What will give us the ability to keep loving even those who hurt us over and over? Whether people are for us or against us, where does the driving force to keep going come from? Let’s look at verses 17–18 again.
“But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that through me the proclamation might be fully accomplished, and that all the Gentiles might hear; and I was rescued out of the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom; to Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.”
Here are principles we can take with us today:
Always remember God’s presence. “But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me … ”
Even if every man and woman on the face of the earth had forsaken him, Paul was confident that Jesus never, ever would. Jesus has told us that He will never leave us or forsake us. He has told us that He will be with us right until the end of the age. Paul is leaning hard on those promises. If to do right means to be alone, as Joan of Arc said, “It is better [then] to be alone with God.”
Always remember God’s purpose. “ … I was rescued out of the lion’s mouth …” “The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed …”
What did he mean by the lion’s mouth? We know it couldn’t mean a literal lion because as a Roman citizen, he couldn’t be executed by throwing him to the lions. That was reserved for enemies of Rome, slaves and non-Roman criminals. The lion is a symbol of Satan. 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us that our adversary, the devil, “prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” Perhaps Paul was referring to the devil’s schemes to thwart him and stop the spreading of the gospel of Jesus.
God had His hand on Paul, and Paul never forgot that. He never forgot Jesus telling him to take the gospel to the Gentiles; he never forgot that the reason he was on the planet was to proclaim Christ to the nations.
The reason God strengthened and helped me, he said, was so that, “through me, the proclamation might be fully accomplished.” He thought more about his purpose than he did of what man could do to him.
Don’t allow the betrayal or desertions of those who have hurt you to mar you for life. Verse 16 reads, “At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them.”
Paul forgave those who let him down. He was not going to turn his emotional health over to those who had deserted him. He was not going to allow them to live in his head rent-free.
The person you have not forgiven holds more power over you than anyone else in the world right now. Turn them over to the Lord, let it go, forgive them, and get on with your life. “May it not be counted against them” shows us that Paul released them emotionally from hindering his life any further.
Choose not to go through life as the Lone Ranger. Even the Lone Ranger wasn’t really the Lone Ranger—he had Tonto right beside him! Read through the book of Acts and all of Paul’s writings, and you will find over 100 people mentioned by name connected with Paul. Throughout his entire ministry, Paul always ministered and traveled with others. He played as a team.
Paul was never alone by choice. Even when he’d been hurt, he kept pouring himself out. He kept serving and loving. Christianity is highly relational. You can’t live the Christian life alone. We need others. And we’re going to continue to need others even after they’ve disappointed us.
Hold on to the reality of your Ultimate Rescue. Looking at it from an earthly perspective, Paul had been abandoned, deserted, and betrayed by a number of his “friends,” he was considered a criminal by his government, he was a prisoner about to be executed for doing what God called him to do. Everything seemed to be going against him!
But he never just looked at his earthly circumstances, and neither should we. Oh, that God would give us eyes to see the eternal and know that our eternal safety is assured in Jesus. It is always better to be in danger for a moment and safe for eternity than to be in safety for a moment and to jeopardize eternity. Just remember, some friends are for a reason. Some friends are for a season. Some friends are for a lifetime. Jesus is for eternity.
Jeff Cranston is the lead pastor of LowCountry Community Church in Bluffton, South Carolina.
[1] C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves. London: Geoffrey Bles, 1960.
