“Where Do Babies Come From?” Why You Need to Prepare for “The Talk”

It happens when you least expect it. You’re driving home from school, folding laundry, or pouring the cereal…and out of the blue, your child asks:

“What’s sex?” “What’s a period?” “What’s porn?”

And just like that, you freeze. Your tongue stops working. You start stammering. Every logical thought leaves your brain. Or maybe you opt for retreat, and toss out a quick, “We’ll talk about that later.” “Go ask your Dad” or “You’re not old enough yet.” If this is you, you’re not alone.

Most parents want to have these conversations. They just don’t feel ready. They don’t feel confident or equipped with the words, the tools, or the guidance required to respond. And by the time they do feel prepared, someone else has usually answered first.

Research shows that by age 9, most children have already been exposed to ideas about sex. Whether through peers, pop culture, social media, or even accidental encounters with pornography, they are discovering more than we know. Yet, only a small percentage of parents say they feel confident having honest, age-appropriate conversations with their kids about sex. That’s a dangerous gap.

The truth is, kids are curious and the world is quick to answer. If we wait too long, or avoid the topic altogether, we risk our kids forming their understanding of sex, identity, and relationships based on misinformation, myths, or distorted images from the internet.

We want them to hear truth first. But that means we have to speak first.

One of the biggest misconceptions parents have is that the conversation has to be one big, awkward, life-altering event. In reality, the best approach is a series of ongoing, honest, age-appropriate conversations over time. Each moment becomes a chance to show your child that you are safe and approachable and that none of their questions are wrong or off limits.

So, how do you prepare? It starts with intentionality. Here are a few first steps:

1. Anticipate the Questions.

Consider and write down the questions that make you nervous. Those are likely the things your child will ask first! It's better to think through your responses now than on the spot.

2. Use Everyday Moments.

A song lyric, a movie scene, a comment repeated from a classmate—these are natural openings for low-pressure, meaningful conversations.

3. Start Sooner Than Feels Comfortable.

If you wait until you think they’re ready, it’s likely someone else has already spoken into the silence. Think ahead and be proactive. You have the opportunity to shape the narrative.

4. Give Yourself Grace.

You won’t say it all perfectly. You’ll trip over your words or need a minute or two to get your thoughts in order. That’s okay. What matters is that your child knows they can come back to you again and again.

5. Normalize An Open Conversation.

More than anything, your child needs to know this: “You can always ask me. You won’t get in trouble. You don’t need to feel embarrassed. I’m here to help you make sense of what you hear.”

6. Equip Yourself with Tools.

Books, podcasts, conversations with other like-minded parents, and trusted resources, like the Birds and Bees Conference, can make all the difference.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s preparation because your child will have questions! And you’ll want them to come to you, not their buddy on the playground, the older friend on the bus, or a trending video on TikTok.

The good news? You don’t have to panic. You just have to be present and willing to grow alongside them.

Let’s be the calm in their questions. The truth in the noise. The first voice they hear—and the one they trust most.